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Joke
Jun 21, 2007 13:59:03 GMT
Post by Matt the Cat on Jun 21, 2007 13:59:03 GMT
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
2, one to change the bulb and the other to check the ingredients on the side of the box ! ;D
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Joke
Jun 21, 2007 14:11:10 GMT
Post by Matt the Cat on Jun 21, 2007 14:11:10 GMT
How many vegetarians does it take to change a lightbulb? 2 - one to change the bulb, and the other to say that they dont know what was in the box, but the label said 'bulb' so it will light the room.
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Joke
Jun 21, 2007 14:18:58 GMT
Post by Matt the Cat on Jun 21, 2007 14:18:58 GMT
this is one of my favorites, How many men does it take to change a lightbulb ? dunno, I'll do it tomorrow
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Joke
Jun 22, 2007 10:52:52 GMT
Post by fezzarooooo on Jun 22, 2007 10:52:52 GMT
hehehe ;D
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Joke
Sept 3, 2007 15:00:46 GMT
Post by Pob on Sept 3, 2007 15:00:46 GMT
gee, i made a post here and it;s been DELETED. And so has this one.
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Frosty
Newbie
The Lemur Appreciation Society
Posts: 34
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Joke
Nov 5, 2007 18:04:20 GMT
Post by Frosty on Nov 5, 2007 18:04:20 GMT
(stolen from a friend...) How many omni's does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'd rather stay in the dark
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Frosty
Newbie
The Lemur Appreciation Society
Posts: 34
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Joke
Nov 5, 2007 18:07:48 GMT
Post by Frosty on Nov 5, 2007 18:07:48 GMT
What's a vegan zombie's favourite food? Graaaaaiiinnsss! *hides in shame*
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Joke
Nov 6, 2007 0:21:53 GMT
Post by poppy on Nov 6, 2007 0:21:53 GMT
That is terrible. ;D
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Joke
Nov 6, 2007 13:32:34 GMT
Post by veggiesosage on Nov 6, 2007 13:32:34 GMT
This is my favourite joke at the mo.
Whats the difference between a bull and the band 'Simply Red'?
With a bull the horns are at the front and the arsehole at the back ;D
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Joke
Nov 6, 2007 13:39:42 GMT
Post by puffin on Nov 6, 2007 13:39:42 GMT
Ooooo harsh ;D
My fav, bit long though.............
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No drama, boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happenin?? Great to see you! Come in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says "Old buddies, lets fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced . After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Germany, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack, and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the f**k's that on the balcony with Dave?"
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Frosty
Newbie
The Lemur Appreciation Society
Posts: 34
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Joke
Nov 6, 2007 14:18:51 GMT
Post by Frosty on Nov 6, 2007 14:18:51 GMT
I just told it to a few people in the office and no one thought it was funny maybe they just didn't get it, I think I should say it again and put emphasis on the ggrrraaaaainns part Puffin - That was brilliant
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moon
Vegan Munchkin
Posts: 62
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Joke
Feb 20, 2008 8:11:20 GMT
Post by moon on Feb 20, 2008 8:11:20 GMT
puffin,thats definatly a joke im going to tell,i giggled about it for ages!
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Joke
Feb 20, 2008 14:37:08 GMT
Post by charlielikesfolk on Feb 20, 2008 14:37:08 GMT
(funnier in a Welsh accent!!)
Two men were in a bar at the top of a Skyscraper (it happens!!) it was windy outside, so one went "eh, mate look at this" and opened the window, ran out of it, fell a few stories and came back in the 8th storey window and came back up to the bar, the other man said "wow, i bet you can't do that again, you lucky bloke!", so the first said "Next pint that I can?", the 2nd guy agreed and sure enough the first guy repeats it pretty much the same, the 2nd man says "well, that's it i've got to have a go now!", so he runs at the window jumps out, misses all the storeys and splats dead on the floor outside the Skyscraper, the first man looks round at the Bartender who looks back and says "You're a right thingy when you're Drunk, Superman!"
hahahaahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhha... I'll have you know!
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Joke
Feb 21, 2008 20:29:48 GMT
Post by puffin on Feb 21, 2008 20:29:48 GMT
Thanks moon and snicket. Umm cant do a welsh accent charlie but i liked it
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