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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 19, 2006 23:24:27 GMT
Following the unpresedented success of "ask womble " i have decided to extend my service to you in a new form. the one thing this forum doesnt have is a confessional and the one thing this forum does have is plenty of "SINNERS" ;D now you can cleanse your soul by confessing all to ....FATHER WOMBLE .... in all the confidence and privacy you can expect of the forum and the womble confess all your sins and recieve absolution... so dont delay confess today father womble is waiting for you to confess my child reveal all and father womble might forgive you.... NO SINS TOO LARGE ;D SPECIAL LIMITED OFFER confess one get one free.... ;D BE WARNED suitable punishments will be bestowed upon large sinners (EG like tigger, gizmo) .... the womble is thinking up punishments
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 19, 2006 23:48:13 GMT
Bless me, Father Womble, for I have sinned. It has been 30 years since my last confession. I have committed 19 murders - but they all deserved it. I have robbed so many banks that I can't remember them all - I may as well mention the one that I am planning to knock over next week, whilst I'm about it. I was involved in the Brinks Mat bullion in 1983 and the Northern Bank one in Belfast. Oh, and I dodged my bus fare in 1994.
A. Friend.
P.S. That is not my real name. I have to hide my identity from the rozzers. I suppose I'll get a dozen Our Fathers and 20 Hail Marys for that lot.
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Post by chenli on Apr 19, 2006 23:55:00 GMT
Lol @ glion. Love the "A. Friend." bit.
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 20, 2006 0:10:38 GMT
Good Lord!! How did you know it was me? Don't tell anyone and I'll cut you in on the loot from next week's bank job.
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Post by chenli on Apr 20, 2006 0:16:52 GMT
XD
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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 20, 2006 9:50:48 GMT
jesus begorra them are some sins you ve committed my child.....
30 YEARS since your last confession is "UNFORGIVABLE", but then it is understandable, you have been busy murdering and robbing people so i spose its forgivable..
"REPENT,REPENT,REPENT
The only way to be truely forgiven is to make a sacrifice and the chosen punishment handed down to you from above is to
record the "SHELIAS WHEELS" advert from the telly
turn the telly up loud whilst dressed as a ballerina and play it again and again whilst doing piroettes, until you feel forgiven in time you will repent my child
thank you for confesssing to father womble and if your on a murding spree do the world a favour and finish off that bloke from bargain hunt
the reverent womble has delivered his verdict father womble will forgive you if the following tasks are completed
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Post by fezzarooooo on Apr 20, 2006 13:26:44 GMT
and the Northern Bank one in Belfast. Oh, and I dodged my bus fare in 1994. A. Friend. Fer goodness sake Aldrich you're supposed to change your last name too you're gonna get us all caught again!
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Post by fezzarooooo on Apr 20, 2006 15:33:59 GMT
I'm sorry Father womble, I didn't go to ebayers anonymous... I bid on a vegan handbag ... but it t'was a very beautiful handbag and I just hadn't the strength to control the inside me and now I don't know where to turn too But I did win
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 20, 2006 23:11:15 GMT
and the Northern Bank one in Belfast. Oh, and I dodged my bus fare in 1994. A. Friend. Fer goodness sake Aldrich you're supposed to change your last name too you're gonna get us all caught again! You're not thinking of becoming a tout, are you? You know the boys won't like that.
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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 21, 2006 10:19:42 GMT
Feral my child father womble has listened to your confession, I have come to the conclusion that you are a " SINNER" (SHOUTS) "REPENT REPENT REPENT!!!!!" You are guilty of the sin of self indulgence and of gambling on the SINFULL website ebay..... ;D the good lord does not look favourably on such horrendous "SINS" (especially if you out bid him) However father womble is specially trained to deal with such awful addictions and SINFULL BEHAVIOUR..... ;D ;D and has come to the conclusion that you are possessed by the evil sprit "musthaveitatti" an ancient sprit from the bowels of hell it self. the only way to remove the evil sprit is to be exorcised in a complex ancient ritual known as.."custardo extractio musthaveitti maximus " (just the sound of it strikes fear into the heart of the acrhbishop of axminster) HOW TO RID YOURSELF OF THIS DEMON!!!!! make a jar of vegan custard (see alisont for help) and a jam sandwich whilst watching bergerac on telly with swimming goggles on pour custard in both ears, cover each ear with a slice of jam sandwich then whilst doing the egyptian dance (made famous by the bangles) chant the following spell..... "ebayacous handbagacous evilo spirtu exitus maximus" do that and you should be free of your "SINFULL WAYS" let father womble know how you got on !!!! good luck my child!! father womble over and out the womble is off to the "boozer" (opps !! sorry ment) "vestry"
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 22, 2006 1:04:22 GMT
Father Womble, I'm not sure what that telly thing is you mentioned but I did piroettes for about an hour whilst listening to a recording of the Archers' theme tune.
I feel much better after doing this.
My soul feels clean again. I am looking forward to robbing that bank next week. I will leave a bundle of used notes under the font when I've done the job. It should help to replace chalice that I stole on my last visit.
Thank you.
Relieved of Clackmananshire.
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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 22, 2006 23:52:09 GMT
beware my child its a little known fact the archers theme is linked with evil, no good can come of it. recent study of the theme at the university of trumpton has found that the tune played backwards not only sounds like the theme tune to "howards way " but is also dangerous because of its hypnotic rhythms and undertones . you could easlly be sucked into a hypnotic state with only the age old ritual of shoemendersitusmuximuso to save your soul. "REPENT "REPENT "REPENT" father womble is concerned for one of his flock and is off to the pub
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 23, 2006 0:10:03 GMT
What can I do, then. I don't even know what that other thing is you told me to do.
I await your answer with trepitdation.
Concerned of Little Snoring on the Crouch.
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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 23, 2006 10:24:09 GMT
>:(time is running out my son shelias wheels is the advert that is sponsering csi on uk living record it before it too late father womble is putting the pressure on big time
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 23, 2006 13:23:42 GMT
This is not fair. I don't have access to these fancy modern channels. My telly works by gas. I can only watch the five terrestrial channels. These extraterrstrial UFO-type channels are out of my reach.
I will just have to resort to human sacrifice again. That always works.
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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 23, 2006 20:14:52 GMT
ok my child
can you sacrifice that bloke from bargain hunt and do us all a favour
the womble works in mysterious ways
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Post by Gliondrach on Apr 23, 2006 23:25:43 GMT
Is that 'Cheap as chips' Dickinson?
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Post by bobbywomble on Apr 24, 2006 13:28:10 GMT
dont you start and get out of that sunbed !!!!
yep thats the bloke also andy peters if you get time
the lord will look favourably upon you for doing a service for humanity
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