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Post by vegandaze on Jan 7, 2008 15:48:49 GMT
I've been a vegan for around 5 years. My boyfriend is not even veggie and although he's lovely and I'm happy now, I worry about the future - when it comes to marriage I dream of a life with someone who has a similar philosophy to me! Is anyone in a commited, life-long relationship with a non-vegan and can it work? If not, how did you meet a vegan partner? Would love any words of wisdom thanks!
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Post by Pob on Jan 7, 2008 17:25:42 GMT
I was married to an omni when I went vegan. It was an added complication in an already broken relationship. Over the next year, as I got involved in AR activism and met loads of vegans, we drifted further and further apart until I called time and left.
I am now with a vegan (Tabitha on here) and we've been together for over a year now. We first "spoke" to each other on here and another vegan bulletin board, and met in person on a demo in Oxford.
Some people can make a vegan/omni relationship work, but it's not something I could do.
If you want to meet vegans, join up to the various UK based vegan Bulletin Boards and get yourself along to any meet ups they have planned. Join your local vegan group and go to the meals and meetings. Join your local AR group and get involved locally, and go to big animal rights demos.
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 7, 2008 17:36:46 GMT
Thanks, great advice about how to meet people! i imagine it would be much more fun (or harmonious at any rate) being with a vegan. I will look into your suggestions! Thanks again. Interested to hear from anyone who is in a mixed-diet (!) relationship too
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Post by tabitha on Jan 7, 2008 21:50:20 GMT
I think the problems come when you want to get out and about and meet vegans and go to Vegan fayres etc., and the other half feels left out because he/she doesnt have much in common with the vegans. It was certainly the final nail in the coffin that was my marriage anyway. Depends on situation though obviously. I know there are a few people on here who are in "mixed" marriages and it works very well. Mind you, having said that, I can only think of one now At the end of the day, love will prevail.
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Post by fezzarooooo on Jan 7, 2008 22:05:16 GMT
Hey vegandaze, welcome to EV Thankfully my hubby turned vegetarian a few months after I turned vegan. He said it was because I'd put up with deed stuff in the kitchen for enough years but I think it was just so he'd get more nookie . Thankfully he's got quite used to it now that he's discovered the joys of redwoods and roasted braised tofu ;D. I don't know how I would have managed if he hadn't, I hate the sight and smell of meat, especially when it's raw . I think if he went back to eating meat it would cause serious problems in our marriage but hopefully it won't come to that! Good luck in your relationship petal
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 8, 2008 20:18:06 GMT
thanks for the welcome! Sounds like your husband is great fezzaroooo . My boyfriend will eat vegan food, but I think it's mostly because I am much more interested in cooking than he is! Don't see him giving up meat. As you say Tabitha, love will prevail (hopefully) - we aren't planning marriage yet anyhoo, but I feel guilty about my dream of finding a vegan . Thanks for replying all x
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Post by fezzarooooo on Jan 8, 2008 20:57:44 GMT
Sounds like your husband is great fezzaroooo . Meh, he'll do til I save the money to move to LA and stalk my beautiful wakeeeen ;D Don't worry about your boyfriend hun, I never thought monkeyboy would go veggie either, so much so I'd never even broached the subject with him! Although I do think he was worried I'd meet a nice vegan man on these forums and run off on him... no nice vegan men about here though ;D
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Post by veggiesosage on Jan 8, 2008 21:03:29 GMT
no nice vegan men about here though ;D Quite right. We all drink and fart and grow beards ;D
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 9, 2008 13:21:08 GMT
Well funnily enough, I mentioned today that I had discovered internet forums and had plans to make new vegan friends, and shortly after I received a text claiming 'I'm converting' !! Think it may be a hoax though I like beards and drinking!
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Post by tabitha on Jan 9, 2008 13:47:49 GMT
Sounds like your husband is great fezzaroooo . Meh, he'll do til I save the money to move to LA and stalk my beautiful wakeeeen ;D Don't worry about your boyfriend hun, I never thought monkeyboy would go veggie either, so much so I'd never even broached the subject with him! Although I do think he was worried I'd meet a nice vegan man on these forums and run off on him... no nice vegan men about here though ;D Keeps quiet on this subject......
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Post by squirrel on Jan 14, 2008 14:10:26 GMT
Hi, I'm in 'mixed' marriage and it works just fine.
We 'respect' each other's views even where we can't agree on them. We don't lecture each other.
He cooks the horrible bits and I cook the nice bits. And then he steals mine ;D
After all, he likes football and I don't so diet isn't the only thing we don't agree on.
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Post by xxsarahxx on Jan 17, 2008 19:02:05 GMT
I am nearly 18 and my boyfriend is 18, he's an omni but doesn't eat red meat. He will eat some vegan food with me but only because he doesn't like to cook and so it makes things easier for him! I would really like him to become vegan but i don't try to change him because i don't think it will work (he is as fussy as hell and claims to hate all veg!) I wouldn't say that it causes any problems in our relationship and he isn't annoyed or embarrassed by it either. But on the respect of marriage/moving in, it would worry me a bit though, as i don't know how it would make me feel
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 17, 2008 19:37:17 GMT
That's good to hear squirrel, I have the same football thing! I agree with you about the marriage/moving in thing sarah - I'm used to living with meat-eaters because my family do (and Idid once upon a time) but for me it's more about his beliefs than about meat freaking me out. I don't understand how he can not think about/ignore ethical issues. i bet you can teach your boyf to like some veggies via delectable vegan meals - one thing I have managed to do is make my boyfriend less of a fussy eater!!
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Post by lilachamster on Jan 21, 2008 21:59:43 GMT
Yes I would have a problem with a man's meat-eating as a lack of ethics and compassion more so than it grossing me out (although raw meat does bother me, the sight and the smell). Farting and beards and beer are only a small thing to put up with compared to a lack of compassion meat-eating shows. Sosage, I swear you must be my husband's long lost brother! Anyway omni men fart, drink and have beards too, well some of them. Vegandaze, have you shown him any leaflets or any of the online PeTA films? There are some that would surely get to the most hardened meat-eater (one of ritual slaughter which I would say to most of you do not watch it as it is really very distressing, but make meat-eating loved ones watch it).
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 22, 2008 14:02:08 GMT
Hmm, no I haven't shown him any yucky films....that could be a good idea though. I have never seen any myself actually as reading about it was enough to turn me vegan!! I think I will try that (might have to leave the room while it's on :/) If he could see that stuff and it didn't make any impact on him I would definately have to reconsider our relationship due to the lack of compassion and ethics.
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Post by tabitha on Jan 22, 2008 14:31:50 GMT
Take him along to the Vegan Fayre in May! Its lovely there. Lots of food to sample too. Plus you will meet meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 24, 2008 13:41:04 GMT
Oh yes, I plan to go, I have friends in Bristol to stay with! I will come and meet you Maybe I will have a vegan boyf to bring along by then, I'm going to try and make him watch peta videos at the weekend (yeuch)
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Post by wobblymoo on Jan 24, 2008 13:55:54 GMT
I just want to offer some hope to anyone that has a meat eating partner, my hubby wanted some answers for his rather nice ( cough) mates that were taking the michael at him not drinking milk. I cam across this website, michaelbluejay.com/veg/natural.html and now he has announced he is not eating any more meat either. Will make life so much more easier for me. Denise
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Post by vegandaze on Jan 25, 2008 12:49:03 GMT
Good news about your husband! That website is good! I found it informative - great ammunition for when people say 'humans have always eaten meat' etc It's a shame that some people will close their eyes to the truth in order to keep living the way they like to, not matter what evidence they are shown.
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Post by wobblymoo on Jan 25, 2008 17:07:55 GMT
Vegandaze, both hubby and I could not believe we had had our blinkers on for so long. I know this information isn't common knowledge because people don't want to believe the evdience even when it faces them directly. I had yet another lecture from my mother in law yesterday, she just doesn't get it and probably never will, but at least I have answers now for those that question my choices, that is if I can be bothered to try and educate them Denise
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